It’s the time of year for New Year’s resolutions. A time for setting unrealistic goals for ourselves that will, in most cases, be forgotten by the time we sit down to watch the Super Bowl. Last year I resolved to read 75 books this year – and missed it. The good news is – it gave me something to set my sights on; a destination for December 31st. I enjoyed that, and read some great books.
So, not to be outdone this year, I thought I would not only make a New Year’s resolution – I would make a list of things that I want to accomplish – a to-do-list for 2011 you might call it. And – to keep myself honest – I’m going to put it out there for everyone to see. I’ll be on record with my resolutions this year, and someone (probably my wife) will ask me in August – “how are you doing on # 7?” (Note to self – make # 7 an easy one…). So, without further ado, I give you my 2011 New Year’s To-Do List.
- First one is easy; it’s a hold over from last year – read 75 books…unless I don’t. In that case, just read as many good books as I can.
- Go see the national tour of “Rock of Ages” with Constantine Maroulis and Mig Ayesa. I don’t know when, I don’t know which city – but I must go.
- Write the stories of my first prom, why I have a love/hate relationship with New York, and how I realized that I was in love with my wife. They don’t have anything to do with one another, and I may not even publish them – but I need to write them down.
- Quit using marmalade; it’s just too stuffy and pretentious. I think we can all agree that regular strawberry jelly should be the sugary-fruit toast topping of record.
- Be more patient with my kids.
- Lose 40 pounds. There – I said it out loud. And just to make sure that there’s no turning back, my starting weight is 225 lbs. (Good God – did I just publish that on the Internet? Obviously I’m losing my mind – too bad it doesn’t weigh 40 lbs…)
- Tell my wife that I love her at least once a month – when she least expects it (i.e. – when I’m not trying to convince her to buy me some new electronic toy.)
- Celebrate this year’s Earth Day by spraying an entire can of AquaNet hairspray in the air by the light of my incandescent floodlights in the backyard.
- Watch “They Live” again and enjoy the brilliance that is “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. It would also be nice to get a pair of those sunglasses.
- Learn to play “Foolin’” by Def Leppard on Rock Band 3 – pro guitar – hard level. If I can’t be an arena rock star, I can at least be a living-room rock star.
- Write a story that has a monkey in it. Why? Because monkeys are funny – everyone knows that.
- Figure out what’s next.
- Do at least one more phone interview with a New York Times best selling author. It’s quite a rush.
- Be a better father, husband, brother, and son – the four most important jobs I have.
Not a bad list, if I do say so myself. Looks like it’s going to be an interesting year. I’ll let you know how it goes…
© 2011, The Word Zombie. All rights reserved.