American Idol: Season 10, Episode 2 – “You know what they say about a little hat…”

American Idol: Season 10, Episode 2 – “You know what they say about a little hat…”

It’s night number two of American Idol season 10 and one thing is abundantly clear – Steven Tyler rocks.  He’s officially the reason that I will be tuning in for the rest of the season.  I’m sure there will be some great performances, but I’ll be watching for Steven.  He’s funny, he’s sincere, and I love the fact that he sings along with the contestants.  He’s a man who obviously loves music. The show tonight was only an hour long, but was still packed with memorable moments.  My observations are below:

  • When the show started, I was afraid that, in a blatant tug at our heartstrings, we were about to be told that the singer be shown, Blake Patterson, had passed away after the auditions.  Instead, we found out the only thing that had died was his sense of pitch.

  • Again the show starts with my favorite Steven Tyler line of the night – “You know what they say about a little hat…it’s good for a little $#!@.” Steven is without a doubt the new star of the show.  I cannot wait to see what he says next.  Bring on the live shows!

  • Jordan Dorsey – always good to see a music teacher who is actually a good musician.  He had a great voice and did enough with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to make it his own, while respecting the original.  Bonus points for his grandmother telling Ryan – “You look taller on television”.

  • Steven tells tall, blonde, bespectacled Sarah Sellers – “You had me sold from the second you laid eyes on me.” Randy is still trying to figure out what he meant.

  • Jovany Barreto – Two years ago we had Bikini Girl, now we have Abs Guy.  Granted, he had a good voice, but his crush on Jennifer and Marc Anthony was just a LITTLE bit over the top.  On the abs front; Steven – not bad for a 62 year old.  Randy – keep working, there are abs in there somewhere.

  • Jacquelyn Dupree brought her uncle, Randy’s high school football coach, to her audition.  Steven asked him – “So coach, did you ever paddle his @$$?” This only led to far too much talk of how Randy was too big to paddle in high school.  Meanwhile – back at the auditions – Jacquelyn didn’t have a bad voice and made it through to Hollywood.  Other contestants in the holding area all hit the phones looking for Randy’s old barber, his old Cub Scout master, and the guy who used to live next door to the guy who helped Randy learn to play bass.  I guess everyone needs whatever edge they can find in their audition.

  • The best contestant of the night was Brett Lowenstern.  Self described as a “red apple in a pile of green apples”, he had a great story about learning to embrace the uniqueness that had led to so much bullying growing up.  His rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody” was spot on, and his voice had a soulful depth I would not have imagined.  Also great was seeing his family watch his audition on the monitors, and Ryan telling them to “act surprised” when he came out.  I can’t wait to see more of Brett.  (I also have to know – who does he remind you of?  A little bit of Constantine?   A little Richard Simmons?  A little Geddy Lee?  I’m usually great at “this guy looks like”, but I can’t nail this one.  It’s driving me crazy…)

  • From Brett, we are taken to Gabriel Franks.  I won’t talk about his half-hearted attempt to convince America he looks like Steven Tyler – he doesn’t.  (Well, maybe twelve shots into weekend bender at your 20-year high school reunion, he might…).  No, I will only mention that he chose to audition with Lady Gaga.  God help us all.  And what was with the knot under his jaw?  Was he holding a super bouncy ball under his tongue for the entire audition?

  • Jennifer summed up Kid–Rock-meets-Vanilla-Ice-with-a-Michael-Jackson-glove guy perfectly.  “Awkward”.

  • At the 45-minute mark of the show, we are treated/subjected to something that just shouldn’t be seen on TV.  A 300-pound woman dressed as Pocahontas “riding dirty” and slapping the rather ample rear of her 450+ pound boyfriend.  It was like the cast of “The Biggest Loser” ate the cast of “So You Think You Can Dance”.  You can’t make this stuff up.  Grab your TiVo remote and shuffle on over, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.  That sound you hear?  That’s me trying to poke my mind’s eye out.

  • One word for Alex Attardo, graduate of the American Idol summer camp – refund.

  • Jacee Badeaux was that voice you just didn’t see coming.  Looking at him, you would have had no idea what a smooth voice he possessed – but he sliced through “Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay” like a warm knife through butter.  My only fear is Hollywood week will eat him alive.  That, and the fact that he’s bound to hit puberty sooner or later and his voice will change.  Not sure the Peter Brady moments would play well on the live shows…

  • It’s small thing, but the “sunset” shot at the end of the show is very clearly a sunrise shot shown in reverse.  Watch the smoke – it’s moving backwards into the smokestacks.  “What, we didn’t actually shoot any video of the sunset?  Quick, someone show me the reverse button on this video editor.”

  • Paris Tassan was the last contestant of the night.  I’ll give you a choice – was she a novelty act, dressed up as a singing pickle, or was she an attractive young woman with a heartbreaking backstory and a decent voice?  If you guessed singing pickle – I like your sense of humor, but you obviously have issues.  No, she was a typical show closer.  Her story WAS touching, and she moved Jennifer to tears during her performance.  I thought her voice was good, but not the best of the night, by far.  We’ll see how she does in Hollywood.

As I watched the previews roll, a thought hit me.  I couldn’t believe it.  They managed to get through an entire episode filmed in New Orleans, without a SINGLE mention of hurricane Katrina.  Is that possible?  Surely someone in the writing department will lose their job over that.  It just can’t be.  For me – it was a welcome breath of fresh air.

Next week the show heads to Milwaukee – in fact, it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for ‘the good land’.” (If you don’t get the reference, shame on you.  And you’re making me feel old.)  I’m most looking forward to seeing more from backflip-fail guy, who I’ve found is named Timothy Willy, from Indiana – more from him later.  Until then, stay tuned and I’ll stay sarcastic.  Word Zombie out.

© 2011, The Word Zombie. All rights reserved.

One Reply to “American Idol: Season 10, Episode 2 – “You know what they say about a little hat…””

  1. Where Steve Carell stole his line…

    [Holding Claudia Schiffer picture]
    Garth: Hey, are you done yet? I’m getting tired of holding it.
    Wayne: Yeah, that’s what she said.

    Wayne’s World is a classic!!

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